AMBITION VS ACTUALISATION
Competence gives confidence.
Ever wonder why all our lives we sometimes dream of what we want to be. We spend several years trying to form our ideas of what and why that role or position is all we want to be. music, business, money, art, God. We dedicate everything we have and will ever have to it, and it always seems like a struggle. Some of us make our dreams come true, while others struggle all their life and it never happens. This chapter is for those that have not made it. Trying everything to get to what we want.
If I asked you what you want to be? I am quite certain that the answer would rarely be I don’t know. So why haven’t you made it. Please note I did not ask you why you haven’t tried. I know you have tried; the fact that you are reading this chapter is another effort towards your goal.
Let’s try a simple exercise and see what point you fall off, obviously as you can imagine I need you to be honest with yourself, After all no-one is reading this but you.
When did you get your first feel the desire to aspire to your dream? How old were you? Have you reviewed your dream and your capabilities? Do they match? How did your first rejection feel? How did you re-act? What did you honestly learn from it? Was what you learnt of any use? Did you become better or worse after? Did you implement it or discard the lesson learnt? Did you try again? How old were you when you tried again? Did you fail again? Have you given yourself another review? How did you feel? Has your desire been completely drained from all the disappointments?
You are probably thinking at this point that if you did not do a single one of these things then there might be a chance that you did not recover from your first failure the way you ought to have. Recovering and pushing on through an ambition is the only way to self-actualise.
I remember on hot summer afternoon looking at myself through the window of a car glass on the street and asking myself. What happened to you? How did you get here? Where did it all go wrong? The knowledge that I could not understand it at all was so overwhelming and so soul crushing that I don’t think my words can accurately describe it. I am quite sure that at some point some of you reading this book have felt that pain before. It could be with regards to weight gain, to facial changes, to love, even to career decision. When I felt it, it was a combination of career frustration and lost love.
I spent so long looking for what happened assuming that if I just knew how I screwed up what looked like a bright future I might find consolation in my present situation. Well, to be perfectly honest I never satisfactorily figured it out. At every point my idea of what took place was re-buffed. This was the breaking point for me. It hit me like a raging storm the day I realised that I had spent so much time waddling in my own questions ( or the proverbial pool of mud) that I had forgotten to get do something about my situation. Over a year had passed and I was not any better. The real question was not in the why. It was in the how and what. How do I get up from here? How do I move on? What do I do from here? What do I need to move on?
How do I actualise my ambition? Just this simple change in perspective led me on to great ideas. One of which is what you are reading. I had a new lease on life. I opened up my first company and I started out my long term business plan (no more short sporadic goals).
When you get to a point in your life that you genuinely do not care how you messed up or what you did wrong. The day you learn to stop condemning yourself for what has happened and for all the possibly poor decisions you have made. It is at this point that the really juicy ideas come out. It’s like your brain is on fire and ideas are the smoke. Not all of them will be guaranteed to be successful but just keep in mind you need only one to be successful to get your head start.
Like I said earlier this book is not to pretend like if you follow a few get rich ideas, you will make it as a success. I just want to guide you unto your own path and the only way to do so is to help you see what had always been in front of you. If life has taught me anything, it is that just about anyone with the right mind set a good opportunity and a significant amount of hard work can make it big in life. Why should you be any different? Or do you really believe that when you make it out of your situation anyone will ask you about your failures.
I know this to be true because after I got out of my career situation not one person I knew and I had over 600 friends (I mean actual friends) asked me about what it was like when I had no job or What anxieties I had. The problem was always my blind sight and refusal to not just see what I was but what I could still become.
“Whatever you are, be a good one.” Abraham Lincoln